Play Script: Not a Great War

By George Foster

 Synopsis

Oliver and his friends Harry and John join the British army, hoping to find a heroic adventure in the fields of France in late WW1. However upon arriving and meeting grizzled veterans like Captain Radcliff and the incompetent Lt. Col. Jenkins, the reality of their situation sinks in. After spending some quiet yet disturbing time in the trenches, they join the final major attack of the war. Afterwards Oliver wakes up in a hospital, learning from nurses like Victoria that John was wounded, most of his company and commanders are dead, while Harry was executed for desertion, leaving one final letter for him to read detailing his thanks to Oliver.

Log Line

When Oliver and his friends joined the British army in late WW1, it was under the impression they would find glory and fame. Instead, in a few short days they learn the truth about what war is and how even survival has a price. 

Characters

With the exception of nurses, all roles are not restricted by gender, though women playing male characters should shorten their hair and adopt a masculine voice if possible.

Note to all British actors: British accents are a requirement (if possible)

Narrator: He is the narrator. He narrates the story. What did you think he did? He can pause and interject to provide the audience with context clues and fun facts about the war and the time period.

Oliver: Main character, a private in the new company for the 2nd battalion. Oliver is eager at first for the war, but is quick to realise its true horror, ultimately trying and failing to make it through the final moments.

Harry: Oliver’s best friend and confidant, another private who also arrives hoping for glory, not only realises the truth but also is marked by the most fear and breaks the quickest.

John: A Sergeant, technically in charge of Oliver and Harry as head of their squad. John is marked by arrogance and false hopes for glory in the war, and ultimately is removed before he can see the worst of it.

French Soldier: Random French soldier, part of Allied forces, but hardly impressed with his British comrades in arms. Could be a member of the ensemble, and if the actor knows French, that would be beneficial.

Captain Radcliff: The experienced, grizzled veteran who serves as Jenkins’ key advisor. While he has comical moments, he is quick to brush aside any thoughts of glory for the new arrivals and represents a man tired of the war and of the damage it causes to him and others.

Lieutenant Col. Jenkins: The head of the 2nd battalion, Jenkins is an incompetent, upper-class drunk who is often found deep within a bottle. While he has served as long as Richards, the strain of the war has broken him, and he copes with alcohol. Very unpopular and disconnected from the men.

Lieutenant Richards: 2nd in command of the company Oliver, John, and Harry are from. A fairly jolly man and popular among his men, he is terrified of the war’s reality but must maintain discipline due to his rank.

Giant Rat: Is a giant, polite rat who inhabits the trenches. Standard nightmare fuel for men like Oliver.

Victoria: Lead nurse in the area, sassy and rebellious in contrast to what is expected of her. Serves at both the front and later the hospital, views the soldiers with both a mix of sympathy and annoyance due to their distrust of the “feminine variety”.

Major Gottsworth: Grizzled Major under Lt. Col Jenkins, known for his violent and ruthless nature, is like the British version of that American who says “I love the Smell of Napalm in the morning” or a Russian political commissar. He has nothing but contempt for both the enemy and perceived cowards, and would appear to take some sick pleasure in killing either of them with his bare hands.

Elizabeth: Victoria’s primary aide and assistant, essentially her 2nd in command, who shares her views and takes after her example.

Ensemble: Will be a roughly even split of soldiers and nurses, with soldiers predominantly appearing around other officers such as Jenkins, Richards, and Gotsworth or sitting around and attending to tasks on stage during conversations, while Nurses exclusively are only on with Victoria and in the hospital. The total number will be 10 in total.

Setting

Takes place in France, both at the frontline in the trenches and later at a hospital in the French town of Le Havre.

Time

Set during the closing days of WW1 in 1918, from around early November (before November 11th) to mid-November (after November 11th).

Act 1

Scene 1 The trenches

Scene 2 The trenches

Scene 3 The trenches

Scene 4 Hospital in Le Havre

Set Design

Scene 1-3:

The most important piece is the physical, stationary backdrop that will be painted to look like the inside of a WW1 trench, including images of a dirt background, supply crates, ladders, rats, guns, etc. The very top of the backdrop will reveal an open, barren field that is “no man’s land”, the space between trenches, being drawn with artillery craters, broken trees, and maybe even dead bodies.

Just in front of the backdrop will be a collection of other items, including supply crates, benches, ammunition holders, fake rats, and fake rifles.

Scene 4:

This backdrop will remain throughout the entire play, but in Scene 4, the backdrop will be covered with white curtains and have small medical beds placed in front of it to show the shift to the hospital, with minor desks with water, lamps, and other medical supplies next to each bed.

For Harry’s note delivery scene this will remain the same, with the only exception being that Harry will possibly have his own wooden desk and chair on stage right separate from the hospital, to write and read his letter on.

Act 1 (Scene 1)

(WW1 music playing in the background, Army recruiter stands near the center stage, approached by Oliver from off stage left. The two “talk”, Oliver takes recruitment flyers, shakes the recruiter's hand eagerly, and both walk backstage in opposite directions. Curtain opens, narrator walks center stage.)

 Narrator

(Sighs, looking in the direction Oliver walked off in)

Poor lad, doesn’t even know what he just got himself into. One minute, you are just one tea drinker out of many; the next, you sign your life away and risk becoming a statistic. Such was the tragedy of the Great War.

(Looks to the audience)

Hi, I am your narrator tonight, and now we delve into the story of Oliver Pattison and his trials, tribulations, and travesties in the Great War. But first, if you push aside your fear of history and look up from your phone, we must understand the cause of the war. Don’t worry, it's not too complicated and makes perfect sense.

(Gestures to stage right, pair runs out with a map of WW1 Europe. Begins to speak rapidly and quickly, pointing at the map.

You see, a Serbian killed an Austrian, so Austria-Hungary attacked Serbia, so Russia attacked Austria-Hungary, so Germany attacked Russia, so France attacked Germany, so Germany invaded Belgium to get to France, so Britain went to war with Germany. And that is why over 15 million people died.

(exits through stage left. Oliver and his friends, John and Harry, along with others, enter from stage right, walking into the trench. John looks to map)

Oliver

(takes deep breath, smiling)

Finally, we made it. Our glorious adventure begins. When this is over, we will each have our own Victoria Cross.

Harry

Yeah, I can’t wait to get my own statue.

(slips in mud) Christ, this mud's everywhere.

 John

(John is a Sergeant, slightly above Oliver and Harry in rank) 

This looks like the right place; now we just need to find our battalion.

(turns to the soldier dressed in blue in center stage)

Excuse me, good sir, you wouldn’t happen to know where I can find the 2nd battalion under Captain Radcliff?

French Soldier

(Speaks French, points in the direction of a large “new arrivals” sign)

Oliver

(not taking the hint)

Oh, Christ, he’s a frog.

John

Hold on, I know some French, let me reason with this baguette muncher.

(clears his throat, adopts French accent)

Bonjour, oui oui baguette croissant flâner dodo wine paris merde putain bordel

(everyone waits, let's incorrect French sink in)

French Soldier

(looks offended and confused, starts speaking aggressively in French)

(John continues speaking incorrect French, poking at Frenchmen)

(Frenchman begins pulling out a knife just as Captain Radcliff appears from stage left)

Captain Radcliff

What the bloody hell are you knobs doing! Stand down!

(Everyone calms down, standing in ready position and saluting the Captain)

Need I remind you this is his Majesty's army, and unless you face a Jerry you shall show the utmost respect! State your rank and regiment.

John

(stuttering and scared shitless) 

S-Sergeant… Seargent

Captain Radcliff

Out with it, lad! You have only been here 5 minutes, and your pants are already soiled. I doubt you have even met Fritz yet.

(Oliver interjects)

Oliver

(salutes)

Private Oliver Whitley, sir! We are to report to the 2nd Battalion under Captain Radcliff. You wouldn’t happen to know where he is, would you, sir?

Captain Radcliff

(smirking)

Yes, he is about two feet away from you.

(all look around, confused)

Oh for Christ's sake… IT’S ME YOU FOOLS! I am Captain Radcliff, 2nd Battalion of the 1st Guards Regiment, at your service. 

(pulls out a cigarette out of boredom, lights it)

Now, I am going to take a wild guess and assume you are one of the new companies reinforcing the 2nd. Where is your CO? And why is this company so small? I have seen Frenchies with more girth.

John

(regaining composure)

Well, that's the thing, sir, we…um… don’t know. We got separated from Captain Godrick on the way here. We are only a platoon in strength.

Captain Radcliff

A platoon? Are you serious? I was promised fully equipped formations of soldiers, not some boys like you who can’t even read the damn signs!

(gestures to the New Arrivals sign)

 What the fuck am I supposed to do with a Platoon Sergeant!?

(Enter Lieutenant Col. Jenkins from Stage Left, joins everyone center stage)

Lieutenant Col. Jenkins

(wobbling)

Carry on the war in his majesty's name, of course, old chap.

(all turn and salute Jenkins, holding wine in his hand and wobbling a little with a cane)

Harry 

Sir, beg my pardon, but are you drun…

Lieutenant Col. Jenkins

Driving the enemies of our empire into the ground? Why yes, I am. Now what do we have here? 

(plucks at their uniforms) 

Is that a kilt? Are you Scottish?

(pause)

John

We're from London, sir. Reinforcements for the 2nd Battalion.

Lieutenant Col. Jenkins

(while flaunting around)

Oh… Well, jolly good. I am Lieutenant Colonel Jenkins, your heroic leader. I go by many names; the Scourge of the Somme, the Prince of Passchendaele, God of Gallipoli…

Captain Radcliff

(speaking quickly, coughing into hand)

The Fool of Flanders.

Lieutenant Col. Jenkins

Sorry, what was that?

Captain Radcliff

I said you are a brilliant commander.

Lieutenant Col. Jenkins

Oh, why, thank you, old chap. I can always rely on you when I am sozzled. Now then, I have to go report to the winery… UH, I MEAN the weapons center, yes. Carry on, chaps.

(salutes and leaves offstage right)

Oliver

(looking puzzled)

He wasn’t very…

John

Sober? 

Harry

I was going to say heroic.

Oliver

Yeah, he wasn’t inspiring at all. I thought we would have a…

Captain Radcliff

(annoyed)

A what?! Some gleaming aristocrat in a crisp uniform, pistol in one hand and the Union Jack in the other.

Oliver

Well… I mean…

(John steps in, backing up Harry and Oliver)

John

(speaking with a cocky, arrogant tone) 

It doesn’t matter if our commander is a loony; we are British. It is our duty to serve King and Country. We will etch our names in the pages of history, returning heads held high when we win this war. My Captain Godrick said that.

Captain Radcliff

Then your Captain Godrick is also a loony. And where is this loon anyway? Didn’t get lost on the way here, did he?

(Lieutenant Richards and several other soldiers run on from stage right, stay on middle stage left, or the edge, breathing heavily)

John

(looking to Radcliff smugly)

I believe that man will answer your question.

(turning to Richard, saluting)

Lieutenant Richard, sir! Good to see you. Where is Captain Godrick?

Lieutenant Richards

Dead.

(deadpan)

John

I am sorry, what?

Lieutenant Richards

(slowly)

DEAD. Killed by a German artillery strike along with half of the first platoon. 

John

(sadly, shocked but quickly recovering)

What a tragedy.

Lieutenant Richards

Very true. I intend to bury him here.

John

May I help in this endeavor, sir?

Lieutenant Richards

Of course. I will give you his remains. Treat it with respect.

John

Of course, sir. Wait, what do you mean by “it”?

(Richard throws a bloody red head from a sack into John’s arms)

John

(screaming)

Oh my God!!! Oh Jesus!!

(chucks head off stage, rubbing hands on shirt. Oliver gags while Harry covers his face with his hands and turns away. Radcliff shows no emotion. John continues with false calm. Richards looks horrified.

On the other hand, we do have a war to fight, and Godrick would want us to carry on.

Captain Radcliff

(unamused by the situation, walking over to Richard on stage right)

Lieutenant, I am Captain Radcliff of the 2nd battalion, your new CO. You and your men will be stationed here; the barracks are that way.

(points to offstage right, then gestures to Oliver)

You, Private Oliver, you have first watch as Sentry tonight. You see Jerry, kill him. Understood?

Oliver

Y-yes sir.

Captain Radcliff

Good.

(Oliver heads to center stage back, sitting on a bench, while Richard, Harry, and John begin walking offstage right. Before John gets off, Radcliff grabs his arm.)

You still think war is all glory and no gore?

(John looks at him sternly in defiance)

Christ.

(pushes John away offstage, turns to Oliver)

What about you? Still think war is all glory after seeing one drunk officer and another dead one?

Oliver

I-I don’t know.

Captain Radcliff

(laughs dryly)

Don’t worry, there is worse to come. Soon you’ll see. They always do. 

(stands in silence for a minute, reflecting on the dead, looks back up at Oliver)

Welcome to Western Front.

(blackout)

Act 1 (scene 2)

(lights up, cut to Oliver center backstage sleeping in his seat, snoring)

(slight sound of artillery in background)

(Narrator walks on from stage right, stands near center stage where Oliver is, but not blocking him)

Narrator

Sometimes in war, when the din of battle is gone and morning is quiet…

(defining loud explosion, with lights, screams)

Relatively quiet, one can enjoy a moment of rest. In such moments, one can truly enjoy peace and…

(interrupted by a loud bugle played by Captain Radcliff, walking in from the stage left behind Lieutenant Col. Jenkins, shortly followed by Harry and John and other new recruits, with Oliver quickly jumping up from sleep. The narrator exits off the stage right)

Lieutenant Col. Jenkins

(less drunk than before, but not sober and with wine in hand)

Rise and shine, lads, another day serving our great king. Now I know you are all tired after your long march, so I have something light today for you.

(collective sigh of relief from all new boys)

Trench repair and guard duty!

(collective groan, Jenkins not reading situation)

That’s the spirit! And remember, Keep Calm and Carry On!

(Jenkins leaves of stage left, Radcliff steps up to the middle)

Captain Radcliff

You heard him, get to work. Oliver, you keep up sentry duty with me; the rest of you fix the trench.

(Oliver stays on his bench, periodically looking over his soldier. Radcliff sits on a bench on stage right, while Harry and John grab hammers and begin repairing areas on stage left, periodically shifting around.

(awkward silence ensues, Oliver twiddling his thumbs for a few moments, coughing into his hands)

Oliver

Soooo…

Captain Radcliff

So what?! 

Oliver

(taken aback by anger)

Well… um… does the artillery ever stop? 

John

(still working)

Oh, it’s not that bad. My granny snores more than this.

Captain Radcliff

Yeah, well, unlike your pudgy granny, you can’t choke artillery with a pillow. And it’s not bad compared to the past.

Oliver

What do you mean?

Captain Radcliff

Well, right now the Kaiser is running out of shells to chuck at us, and these days they can’t even feed themselves. But back in the day, it was constant, deafening, so loud your eardrums burst.

Oliver

You’ve been here for that long?

Captain Radcliff

(sighing deeply)

Yep, I was one of the first to arrive here. Been away from my home for so long.

Oliver

You got a family, sir?

Captain Radcliff

Yes, wife and two boys. Oh, I miss them, but I can’t wait to go home and see them. It will be nice to hold them after so long and make all my suffering worth something

(narrator walks on from stage right, stays on edge, everyone else pauses as if stopped in time)

Narrator

In case you couldn’t tell, he is going to die.

(exits, everyone else unpaused, sitting in silence for a moment until a rat is dragged across the floor by see through string)

Oliver

(looking slightly shitted)

Was that a rat?

Captain Radcliff

Oh yeah, but don’t worry, there are only a few… million.

Oliver

Million?!

Captain Radcliff

Oh come on, lad, they aren’t that big or bad

(giant ass rat walks across the stage from left to right, carrying some kind of object, possibly Captain Godrick's head or body)

Giant Ass Rat

(in posh accent)

Good day, sir.

(he exits, small pause, Jenkins re-enters from stage right as rat leaves)

Lieutenant Col. Jenkins

(looking back in the direction of the rat, stares at the wine for a second)

Huh… Anyway, how are repairs coming along?

Harry

Good sir, all finished here.

Lieutenant Col. Jenkins

Well done, chaps. Why, with this effort, the war might be over by Christmas!

Captain Radcliff

Sir, you said the same thing last year, and the year before that, and before that, and…

Lieutenant Col. Jenkins

(quickly speaking)

Well, yes, but I never specified which Christmas did I? Now, anyway, I wanted to introduce you to someone very important.

(points to Victoria and Elizabeth, who walk on stage along with several other nurses from stage right, stops right next to Jenkins)

This is Victoria. As you can see, she is of the… feminine variety.

(collective gasp from all the new recruits, mouths watering)

Yes, yes, I know, I know. But she is also somehow a nurse who is expected to care for us and save our lives. Now I know it’s a strange thing, trusting women with work, but orders are orders. Carry on.

(he exits off stage right. Victoria and her entourage stay, John combs his hair back, and approaches them).

John

Well, bloody hell, you are as gorgeous as a pretty poppy. You know I have 2 wounds that I need help healing here and here.

(points to lips and groin)

Victoria

(smiling)

Oh, don’t worry, soldier, I have just the thing for that. But you need to close your eyes.

(John closes his eyes, leans forward for a kiss. Is met with a knife to the groin, and a smack to his cheek, forcing him to fall to the ground in agony.)

Feeling better now, Private no privates?

John

(still on the ground)

N-nooo.

Victoria

(sighing, turning to other nurses)

Alright, ladies, you know the drill. Let's take him to the aid station.

(looking back at John, grinning mischievously with a knife in hand)

Don’t worry, soldier, we will fix you right up. Though you should know we are out of anesthesia.

(Nurses begin dragging John by the legs away offstage right. John looks back at the others with fear, shaking his head and reaching out towards them.)

John

(weakly)

Help… Help

(others look away, turning attention to other matters out of fear)

(silence for a few moments, no one knowing what to say)

Oliver

Soooooo… What is it like out there?

Captain Radcliff

Out where?

Oliver

(pointing backstage towards No Man’s Land)

There.

Captain Radcliff

(understanding, sighing)

Doesn’t look like what you thought, huh?

Oliver

Again, no.

Harry

Yeah, was it always like this?

Captain Radcliff

No, but it's been so long I can’t remember what the old landscape was like; all I know is that it was green.

Oliver

(gesturing behind him)

Is this all one gets to see for the war?

Captain Radcliff

No, some of my friends fought overseas. From the beaches of Gallipoli, the mountains of Greece, to the sands of Egypt. 

Harry

(looking hopefully)

You mean there are fronts without trenches?

Captain Radcliff

(chuckling to himself)

Oh no, there are still trenches, just fewer Germans.

Oliver

But what's it like out there?

Captain Radcliff

(looking down)

Hell.

Oliver

Sorry?

Captain Radcliff

(looking back up, but staring into the open)

Hell, that's the only word that can describe it. The minute that whistle blows, and you get up out of the trench, it seems like all of Germany is shooting at you. You try to run, but the mud slows you to a crawl. You try to hide, but there is nowhere to hide. All you can do is die or pray you survive.

Oliver

(Looking scared)

How come you survived?

Captain Radcliff

(standing up, shaking)

Luck.

(he exits off stage right, leaving Oliver and Harry)

Harry

He doesn’t seem very gay.

(narrator walks in from stage left, stands to the side, time pauses again)

Narrator

In this time period, to be gay meant to be very happy or joyous, not to be attracted to a fine specimen such as Ryan Gosling.

(exits back of stage left, time unpauses)

Harry

You don’t think he meant that, right? It can’t be that bad.

Oliver

(silent for a moment)

Why would he lie?

Harry

Okay, but why would the recruiter lie? Why would Captain Godrick lie?

Oliver

(stuttering)

I-I don’t know.

(silence for a few moments, nothing but the light sound of artillery)

(Suddenly, Lieutenant Richard enters from Stage left, carrying some cans)

Lieutenant Richards

Afternoon chaps, how are you doing?

(Oliver and Harry stand up, saluting)

Oliver/Harry

Sir!

Lieutenant Richard

Oh, come on now, lads, no need to bother with that rubbish! Here, brought you some food.

Harry

Why, thank you, sir, this looks-

(stares at it for a moment, smells it, looks disgusted)

Jesus Christ.

Lieutenant Richards

(smiling)

I think you mean it’s corned beef. What did you expect, fine dining?

Oliver

(grumbling)

So much for a good meal.

(Richards sits down next to them, enjoying the meal)

Lieutenant Richards

So, how have you boys been adjusting to the trenches?

Harry

Alright, sir. What about you? Where have you been?

Lieutenant Richards

Oh, don’t get me started. I got lost.

Oliver

Sir, with respect, how do you get lost in a line in the dirt?

Lieutenant Richards

(listing countries on his hands)

By stumbling into the lines of our allies. I spent hours walking past Australian, New Zealander, American, Portuguese, Belgian, Indian, South African, Canadian, and French troops who didn’t speak a lick of English.

(Narrator walks on from stage left, stands at edge, time pauses)

Narrator

If you are curious as to how all these other countries got involved, you should know this isn’t a documentary, and not even the writer wants to explain this shit to you in one go.

(he exits, time unpauses).

Harry

Sir, don’t at least half of those people speak English?

Lieutenant Richards

(looking appalled, scoffing)

How those Yanks or Aussies talk is not proper English.

(getting up after a moment)

Well, chaps, I must go. When you are done with your meal, return to the barracks for a good night's rest. We want to be right and rested if we are to shank Fritz over there!

(he leaves off stage left, reminding the two of their previous conversation.)

Oliver

(breaking the silence)

Look, we both heard the Captain. The war is almost over, and Jerry is on the ropes. So if it’s almost over, maybe we won’t even have to fight. We just got to hunker down and survive, and we will get through this.

Harry

(nodding)

Yeah, yeah, you're right. 

(sudden intensification of artillery bombardment sounds)

Harry

(looking upward)

What do you think that is all about?

Oliver

(yawning)

Nothing we should be too worried about, let's go get some rest.

(they exit off stage left, blackout)

Act 1 (Scene 3)

      (Lights up, Oliver and Harry walk on from stage left, yawning, stretching. They go to the center stage, sitting down. Loud artillery sounds continued from Scene 2).

Oliver

Bloody hell, I haven’t slept that badly in a long time. We got sentry duty today?

Harry

No.

(staring up at the sky, listening to loud artillery)

The artillery is still going.

Oliver

(sarcastically)

Shocking.

Harry

No, I mean it’s still as loud as yesterday. And it sounds like it’s getting closer.

Oliver

Oh come on, don’t be ridicu-

(loud explosion, body parts fly onto stage from right, both men jump onto the ground)

(loud explosions continue for a few minutes, both men stay on the ground)

(the explosions stop, eerie silence takes over for a minute)

Captain Radcliff

(from offstage)

Medic! Get a Medic!

(nurses rush across from stage right, disappearing behind stage left, before returning and walking back across the stage with a wounded soldier, blindfolded with a bloody rag, mumbling)

(Oliver and Harry slowly rise to their knees, looking shocked)

Oliver

What the hell was that!?

(Captain Radcliff walks in from stage left to center stage)

Captain Radcliff

You two alright?

Harry

(standing up)

Yes sir. What was that?

Captain Radcliff

It appears Jerry is not happy about what our boys in the South are doing.

Oliver

What do you mean, sir?

Captain Radcliff

Didn’t you hear? They have been pushing the Germans back, smashing through their lines like paper. And now it’s our turn.

Oliver

(looking scared)

Sir?

(Lieutenant Col. Jenkins walks on from stage left, with other soldiers, including Lieutenant Richard, following him, with others standing next to Henry and Oliver)

Lieutenant Col Jenkins

(less drunk than usual)

Gather round, men, orders just came in. In a few hours time we go over the top

(several sighs and whispers from the crowd)

Settle down, lads. Our objective is to capture the enemy trenches and hold them against enemy counterattack to provide a diversion for the other brigades.

(turns to Richard, Oliver, and Harry)

Lieutenant Col Jenkins

Lieutenant Richards, you and your platoon will join the 3rd Battalion under Major Gotsworth. You will be in the first wave. Time to get your feet wet.

Lieutenant Richards

(gulping)

Yes sir.

Captain Radcliff

Sir, shouldn’t these men stay under the 2nd? They have spent more time with it than the 3rd.

Lieutenant Col Jenkins

(sighing deeply)

3rd needs reinforcements, and don’t worry. Major Gotsworth is a fine commander.

(doesn’t notice Radcliff rolling his eyes, sighing)

Anyway, if you don’t have questions, that will be all.

(he exits off stage left)

Lieutenant Richards

(looking to Captain Radcliff, nervous)

So, what is Major Gotsworth like?

Captain Radcliff

We call him “Guts worth”, and you will find out soon enough.

(turning to face all of them)

Godspeed gentlemen.

(he exits off stage left)

Oliver

Well, that wasn’t reassuring

(turns to Harry)

You alright, mate?

Harry

(looking grumpy but scared as hell)

Oh yeah, why wouldn’t I be? We are about to charge into the field of death. I am sure we will survive the land of no fucking man!!

Oliver

(trying to lighten the mood)

Well, if you are so worried, we could just ask the women to attack instead.

(deadpan, silence, Oliver smiling stupidly)

(Lieutenant Richard hits Oliver on the back of the head, looking disappointed)

Lieutenant Richards

Alright, you two stay here, I will go get the rest of the platoon. 

(he exits off stage right, leaving Harry and Oliver)

Harry

(putting his head in his hands)

God, I don’t think I can do this. I am not ready to die.

Oliver

(trying to stay composed)

L-Look, we just got to be brave. 

Harry

(looking up)

How the hell are we supposed to do that?!

Oliver

(looking down)

I don’t know.

(silence for a few seconds, save for the loud artillery)

Oliver

Do you have any regrets?

Harry

I regret joining the army. I regret being stuck in this trench. And I regret that John won’t be here to see how war is all hell and no glory.

Oliver

He is still in the hospital?

Harry

Yep.

(Oliver sighs deeply, standing up for a minute, looking to the sky)

Oliver

Look, if we stay together and run like hell, we should be fine. We just need to stick together.

Harry

(nodding slowly)

Yeah. Sure.

(Oliver puts his hand on Harry’s shoulder in a comforting manner before separating)

(Lieutenant Richard walks in from stage right with some other soldiers behind him. He stands center stage next to Oliver/Harry while they stand to the side).

Lieutenant Richards

You two ready?

Oliver/Harry

Yes sir.

Lieutenant Richards

Now we just need the Major…

Major Gottsworth

(from offstage)

About time you knobs got your balls out of your throats.

(All turn to see Major Gottsworth and his retinue walking on stage from left. Gottsworth walks up directly to Lieutenant Richard).

Lieutenant Richards

(saluting)

Sir, Lieutenant Richards of…

(is interrupted by Major Gottsworth walking up to him, grabbing his uniform, looking at it with disdain)

Major Gottsworth

(looking disgusted)

God, more of Kitchener's mob army.

Lieutenant Richards

(confused)

I am sorry, sir, what do…

Major Gottsworth

(turning to face everyone, with loud artillery in the background)

Listen up, men. I don’t give a hooting hell what happens out there. We don’t stop until we take over Fritz’s defenses. As long as you can bite the Germans, you fight. Understood?

(silence, no one answering)

UNDERSTOOD!?

Random Soldier

(with tired tone)Yes, sir, understood.

Major Gottsworth

Good, now prep rifles and fix bayonets. I want them dripping with Jerry blood before this day is over.

(Oliver turns to Harry, who is by this point shaking and breathing heavily)

Oliver

You alright, Harry?

Harry

I can’t do this.

(speaking louder)

I am not dying here!

(he begins running away toward stage right, but is spotted by Major Gottsworth)

Major Gottsworth

Oy! Where the bloody hell do you think you are going! Get back here, you coward!

(they both begin running offstage right, followed by loud, defining explosions sending body parts onto the stage)

Oliver

(staring in shock)

Harry…

(whistle blows)

Random Officer

(yelling from offstage)

That's it, boys, over the top!

(Oliver looks toward the audience with a terrified expression from center stage, sounds of whistle blowing and single gunshot echo through space)

(blackout, curtain closes) 

Act 1 (scene 4)

(Curtain opens, blackout remains, Oliver lies in bed center stage, leaning against the back wall. Back walls originally depicting trenches are now covered in white sheets. Oliver himself is unconscious).

(Victoria comes onstage from left)

(Suddenly, a single direct light shines down on Oliver, an “angelic” voice, which is really Victoria speaking to him. Angelic music plays in the background).

Victoria

(barely offstage in darkness, onstage left)

Wake up, child.

Oliver

(waking up, but not seeing anything in the darkness, looking around crazily)

Who are you?

Victoria

I am here to help. You are in Le Havre.

Oliver

(mishearing)

Heaven. I made it.

(looking up)

I see the light.

Victoria

(now clearly visible to the audience, light shines on her)

Um… yes, that is a light.

Oliver

(closing his eyes, leaning back)

I am ready to die now. Take me, oh angel of god.

(blackout fully lifts)

Victoria

(walking over to the side of the bed, shaking hand over his face)

Um, soldier, you are going to be okay.

Oliver

Yes I will, in God's loving embrace.

Victoria

(sighing deeply)

Oh for…

(grabs a glass of water on the desk near Oliver, splashes it in his face)

(Oliver opens his eyes, wakes up, looking around)

Oliver

Huh, what?

(looks to Victoria)

You!

Victoria

(sighing)

Yes, it’s me, the woman.

(Oliver gasps, Victoria sighs)

Oliver

(looks around)

Wait, where am I?

Victoria

Le Havre. This is a hospital.

Oliver

Hospital? Not Heaven?

Victoria

(picks up and looks at clipboard)

You arrived a few days ago with a massive head injury. 

Oliver

(rubbing his head, speaking wearily)

My platoon… the war.

Victoria

(casually)

The war is over; it ended yesterday. 

Oliver

What?!

Victoria

An armistice was declared. Germany threw in the towel.

Oliver

(more to himself rather than Victoria, in disbelief)

It’s over. It’s over.

(taking a minute to process the information)

You sure this isn’t heaven?

Victoria

(sighing, turning away to tend to some medical supplies)

Well your friend John is here, so I am pretty sure.

Oliver

Wait, John is here?

Victoria

Yep, still tending to his manhood. 

(smiling slightly, chuckling)

Be a miracle if he ever loses his virginity after what I did.

Oliver

Does he know I am here?

Victoria

(sighing)

Yes. He says he is sad that he missed the “glory” of battle.

Oliver

(looking disgusted)

Fucking idiot, of course he said that. What glory is there in that gore?

(small pause, trying to change the subject)

Do you know what happened to the rest of the men?

Victoria

(thinking for a minute)

Elizabeth, bring the casualty report form for the 2nd Battalion.

Elizabeth

(running on from stage left)

Yes, ma’am, here you go.

(handing her the casualty report)

From the 2nd Battalion, 1st Guards Brigade.

(Victoria looks at the casualty report for a moment, then back at Oliver)

Victoria

Who do you want to know about?

Oliver

Uh, well, do you know what happened to Captain Radcliff?

Victoria

(looking at form for a moment)

Dead. Shot through the head.

Oliver

(almost in a whisper)

Lieutenant Richards?

Victoria

(flipping through pages, creating eerie silence for a time)

Dead. Stabbed by a German bayonet.

Oliver

Major Gottsworth?

Victoria

(repeating the same process)

Dead, by artillery. 

Oliver

(looking mortified)

What about Lieutenant Colonel Jenkins?

Victoria

(quickly after)

Was busy drinking wine. He currently suffers from an acute headache and nausea. 

Oliver

(in angry acceptance)

Of course.

(taking a minute to compose himself)

How much of the 2nd company made it?

Victoria

(looking at form again, talking in the same emotionless tone)

70% killed or wounded.

Oliver

(trembling, looking even more mortified)

Do you… do you know what happened to a Private Harry? He was with me and John.

Victoria

(looks at form)

Missing in Action. 

(Oliver slumps in his bed, hands over his face)

(random nurse walks up to Elizabeth from stage left, letter in her hand, whispering into her ear)

Elizabeth

You have a letter, soldier.

Oliver

(hands still over his eyes)

I don’t want to read it.

Elizabeth

(walking over to his bed)

Soldier, it’s from… It’s from Private Harry.

Oliver

(sitting up quickly, grabbing it viciously from Elizabeth's hand, staring wide-eyed at it)

He's… he’s alive?!

Victoria

(sensing the importance of the situation)

We will leave you to it.

(She, Elizabeth, and other nurse exit off stage left)

(Oliver stares at the note for a second, before opening it)

(Harry walks on stage from right, his uniform stripped down to reveal basic, dirty clothing, hardly looking professional. He pulls up a small desk, sits down on the right, and starts writing on a piece of paper).

Harry

(staring at the paper while writing)

Dear Oliver, I hope this letter finds you… alive. I do not know whether you live or are in the mud of Flanders. All I know is that I asked that this letter be given to you if you yet held breath, and that was that. I imagine you might be happy that I am alive, escaping the clutches of that artillery. In truth, though, I may as well have been killed right then and there, for I have sinned. I have committed the greatest act of blasphemy a soldier may commit, being scared. Instead of following my forefathers into death and danger, I followed my fear into desertion and disgrace. For being a welp, I will be whipped, shunned, and shot. 

(Two guards appear behind Harry from stage left, holding a blindfold/head sack. Harry looks at them, dropping his pencil).

Death stands over my shoulder now, somehow not satisfied with the blood 4 years of war has already given.

(looks back to audience, writes on paper)

I can still see us all after getting out of recruitment. How young we were back then, and it was not even half a year ago.

(he pauses for a moment)

Oliver, I do not know if you live, and I will never get the chance to. But if you do, I want to thank you. For being my friend, my comrade, and my brother throughout our short time in those ragged trenches. I hope that you not only get to see peace but also enjoy it, unlike me. I must go now, to the wall and beyond. And if I get to Heaven, then to St. Peter I shall tell, another soldier reporting, sir, for I have served my time in Hell.

Best, Harry.

(Soldiers behind him stand him up, he looks briefly toward Oliver, locking eyes, before he is blindfolded and taken off stage)

(Oliver looks that way, waiting in silence, then he hears a gunshot, more brief silence)

Oliver

(begins to cry, curled up in bed, head facing downward)

Oh Harry.

(The Song in Flanders’s fields plays in the background. Several soldiers, including Richard, Guttsworth, Radcliff, and Harry, come out from all sides of the stage, gathering around Oliver’s bed, staring at Oliver. They wear white robes/blankets covering them).

(Narrator follows them from stage right, heads to center stage front, looks to audience).

Narrator

While war can have honorable heroes and courageous kings, it will always have blood, bodies, and brutality. Such were all wars, and such was the Great War. Kaisers and Kings, Tsars and Emperors, Presidents and Prime Ministers, all sent millions to die, and millions more to break. And because of that blood, empires imploded, kingdoms were conquered, leaders laid low, the old world was burned, and a new one was birthed. And it was all due to this war, World War 1.

(brief silence, music plays for a moment)

Captain Radcliff

(looking up toward Narrator)

Wait a minute.

(music stops abruptly)

What the hell do you mean by World War 1?! 

(blackout, curtains close)

(the end)